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Time outs or “sit and watch” curiosity
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Hello,
I have been anti-time out as a parent and as an ECE professional. The problem is at this point I am struggling to find real, hard evidence that time out is ineffective/harmful aside from “gentle parenting” blogs, books, etc. I am starting to read more and more that, when used correctly, time out is effective for 2-5 year olds. I want to experiment with it more as our kids don’t really experience any consequences aside from being removed from play after observation and infractions. Where does the science come in to play about time outs being “bad”. Is it really effective?
Thanks!
Top Comment: It's the approach that matters and there are some questions/things to consider about it: Are you putting your kid in time out because their feelings are too much for you? If the answer is yes, then time-outs may be more ineffective/harmful. The theory behind that is, you are not able to control your own emotions, and you are teaching your child that big emotions are bad and should be hidden, rather than developmentally appropriate (toddlers). In kids 4+ they should understand that big emotions may have consequences such as, "if I get mad and throw my toy, my toy breaks and is garbage, I will not get it back, it is going in the garbage. I need to be more careful with my things." I was sent to my room a lot whenever I cried or had "big feelings" and even today, as an adult and mother of 2, I find my feelings embarrassing and struggle showing them - I tend to hide away and want to be alone. I'm sure there is a connection there. Is your child old enough to even understand the time out? Age 5-7 is usually when children start to truly understand the consequences of their own actions and when sent to time out will actually think about them. At 18 months and older it's more "if I do this then parent will make me sit here" but all they're doing is thinking about the sitting, maybe. And you get a break from them doing whatever got them into time out. Children should be sent to time outs in a calm manner and explained why they're going to the time-out spot. So yelling "OKAY THAT'S IT, TIME OUT FOR 10 MINUTES" is obviously going to be more damaging than "Hey, I need you to go to time-out. I asked you (x) times not to do (y), and you continued. You need to cool it, go sit over there and I will tell you when to come back." a study touches on this methodology but in the classroom as opposed to at home: "Although time‐out has been shown to be effective for reducing a variety of problem behaviors, lack of knowledge regarding the parameters and procedures of time‐out has led to its ineffective use in the classroom and low ratings of acceptability by teachers." source My favourite approach to "time-out" is called "taking a break." Where it is not a punishment but rather a cool-down. You see your kid, (age 3 or older, I imagine), having a hard time with something, lashing out, being mean, etc. And you just tell them "hey, I think u need to take a break from this activity." so you send them to their room or their corner to do a peaceful acitivtiy where they can wind-down the feelings (drawing, fidget, etc.... No screens though). The key with taking a break, is that your child chooses how long they're there. It could be for 1 minute. It could be for an hour. They will come back to the group when they are ready. And then when they do come back, parents are excited and happy to see them, and focus on including them back in whatever they were doing prior. If they come back and they're still being mean, or lashing out etc. Then you say "I don't think you took a good break, go back and wind down" and you send them back to the spot until they're calmer. The ultimate take-away with time outs is, however you do them, in a perfect world they should not be a way for a parent to avoid dealing with their child's feelings. They shouldn't teach the child that negative feelings are bad and should be hidden. They should instead teach a child to be aware of their behaviours, and eventually realise on their own that what they're doing is not ok and that they need to take a break. here's a source on child mental health, trauma, and attachment, as relates to time outs
Hanami seasons are coming!
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So, I've been living here for about three years now, and I'm still constantly blown away by all the little details of Japanese culture. One thing I've really fallen in love with is the way picnics and gatherings seem to have this extra layer of care and beauty to them. I remember my first hanami experience – it wasn't just about eating outside. It was the beautiful bento boxes, the carefully arranged snacks, the way everyone seemed to be enjoying the moment.
Recently, I was thinking about how much I'd love to share that kind of experience with friends visiting from back home. Not just a regular picnic, but something that really captures the essence of those beautiful, thoughtful gatherings.
I've been trying to learn more about the traditions behind these events, and it's just so fascinating. But I'm also wondering if it's just me being a bit of a culture nerd, or if other people, especially foreigners living here or visiting, feel the same way?
Like, have you ever wished there was an easier way to experience a really authentic, elevated version of a Japanese picnic or small event? Something that goes beyond just grabbing some onigiri and a blanket?
I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here, just curious to hear if anyone else has had similar thoughts. Maybe I'm just romanticizing it all! What are your thoughts?
Top Comment: “Tree pretty, not cold, sit watch” I don’t think it has any deeper meaning than that.
[Wrist form] Does your watch sit properly in your wrist?
Main Post: [Wrist form] Does your watch sit properly in your wrist?
Top Comment: Be it leather straps, bracelets or Nato straps - my watches always tend to move towards the outer side of my wrist and find a sweet spot there. The picture is from straight above, so you get an idea how misaligned my watches sit on my wrist. I wear my watches quite normally - not too tight, not to loose, but it happens with all of my watches. The watches won't stay in the middle of the wrist when viewed from above, no matter how I keep correcting their position - I guess it's due to my wrist form, so there's probably nothing I can do about it. It is kinda annoying, though... Does anyone have similar issues? (edit: added more characters to comply with the 500-character requirement, and sorry for the typo in the header)
Are just gonna sit and watch how the most retarded jutsu saved the world?
Main Post: Are just gonna sit and watch how the most retarded jutsu saved the world?
Top Comment: I don't see why some fans complain about it. Kaguya was obviously expecting Naruto to use yet another top-tier jutsu, and what happened instead was NOT on her mind at all. She was caught off-guard for that reason.
Finally got a chance to sit down and watch Strange New Worlds
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Honestly watching this show made it feel like the first time all over again. I felt like a kid watching Kirk and company all those years ago with my Dad. So many strong episodes and those little musical cues instantly made the nostalgia flood back.
Picard and Discovery have been a bit hit and miss and never felt like compelling viewing whereas SNW I couldn't wait to see the next one.
Characters and cast have been excellent, really looking forward to another season of this. Has reignited my passion for all things Trek.
Top Comment: Picard and Discovery have been a bit hit and miss and never felt like compelling viewing whereas SNW I couldn't wait to see the next one. Felt exactly the same way. Totally loved SNW, was absolutely fantastic.
Can we sit down and eat/watch?
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I've been walking around the city for a while, but I can't find any restaurants/diners etc where I can just sit and eat or just watch the city. Have you guys found anything like that? As they said themselves "it's all about the looks" or something, this is something that bugs me. Imagine watching the city a rainy night and really get that Blade Runner vibe. Just to see the city do it's own thing. I really hope they add that in the future.
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That would be fantastic and would make it more immersive. I hope they add that, and 3rd person POV for the character. Also being able to change appearances (hair, piercings, tattoos) would be great to see in the future too. But the game looks amazing in the 4 hours I've played.
why does my cat sit like a human and watch tv?
Main Post: why does my cat sit like a human and watch tv?
Top Comment: Get off his tail he works his ass off all day long just trying to relax a little. Some treats would be nice human. 😹